Thursday, February 18, 2010

Best in Show, Hypothetically

Suppose you lived close to Madison Square Garden. Now suppose you had a day off of work and the Westminster Dog Show was in town. Now suppose you were walking by and noticed that a side door to MSG was open and you thought you'd investigate. Maybe the guy at the bottom of the stairs lets you walk on by, but maybe you'd get stopped by the guy at the top of the stairs. Hypothetically, you'd probably stutter and pat your pockets like you were looking for a ticket. Fortunately, hypothetical you had been walking with purpose so it looked like you belonged there. The ticket guy would probably assume you just stepped out and after a short lecture about remembering your ticket he'd probably let you in!

Then you'd be free to explore the dog show! If I ever went to the opening rounds of a dog show, it would probably be different than what I usually see on TV. Instead of a big open floor there would probably be 4, no 6! rings on the floor. Instead of a packed house, you could probably just wander around and sit wherever you please. Or even better you could walk down on the floor to get a good view of all the cute doggies (except of course the Chinese Crested...) On the floor you could hang out with the participants, both 2 and 4 legged varieties, and congratulate them with a nice head rub after they finished their show!

After watching the intense competition you could wander through the grooming area where the dogs are being prepped for action, complete with blow dryers, barrettes and all sorts of silly looking hair styles fashioned with rubber bands. Maybe you'd hypothetically stroll through the waiting area and pet a cute Norwegian Elkhound that wanted you to take him home or hang out with the best in breed Old English Sheep Dog.

Perhaps you'd also hypothetically realize that your camera phone is junk but since it was all hypothetical I guess you didn't miss any good photo opportunities anyway ;)

Of course, walking into an event like this without paying would be frowned upon so hypothetical it shall remain.

But if it did actually happen, this is probably what the crappy camera phone picture would look like, hypothetically:

Also, if you're wondering the hypothetical dogs have hypothetical stalls covered in hypothetical saw dust for the dogs to hypothetically relieve themselves on :)

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